momento mori

 ｡𖦹°‧

9.27.26 

Remember you must die.

That is Momento mori.

I learned this latin phrase during my hyper fixation on philosophy, specifically Stoicism. It's a big reason I'm constantly reminding myself of the free will that I have and it comes down to telling myself the smallest things. Get up and do your hair, makeup, wear that really cute top you like even if you're staying inside today. Even if you have zero plans besides sitting at your lap top and writing this entry.

     It feels lame, but I bet you I'm going to make it look sexy lol just because I can. Plus, the thought of death absolutely terrifies me when I let myself fall down that rabbit hole. I'd be asking for a panic attack, but it fuels me to really try. If I get up and give myself something to look forward to such as getting cute for myself- I'll feel good. I'm a firm believer in if you look good, you feel good, it really works for me. Even I just start by making my bed, I'll be inspired to do more, take myself out, put myself out there more on social media, my days get really productive. Whereas, if I let myself look how I feel in the morning, which hasn't been the greatest lately- I never really have plans besides work because I don’t have friends and a long distance relationship, my day will be me doomscrolling. Feeling bad for myself, incapable, behind, lonely. I'll probably make the imprint on my bed deeper, be extra clingy to my boyfriend who actually has a life. 

     This phrase reminds me every day- I don’t have a lot of time. If it makes you happy do it, who cares. Everything else like opinions, social media validation/interaction, judgements, it's just noise. We're on a spinning ball with sooooo many other people lol there's going to be noise! I still struggle here and there, but I'm more selective on what noise I tune in on. Even making the blog for instance, I absolutely love this world I've created in my mind and for my poetry. My messengers, The Marionette and the Spider. I just said the other day I wish I could really live in it and then I started seeing girls using blogs pop up on my socials. As I said in my welcome post, I didn't know people still blogged or cared about what other people wrote or said. Especially if it didn't have a well known name and big numbers on it. I'm thinking who's going to look at my blog? Who's going to care about my work/art? I'm nobody. No one looks at these anymore, we use Instagram, Pinterest and TikTok, I'll probably just be laughed at or ignored. Especially when share it.

     But I still put so much time and effort into this because I know I love decorating, creating, writing, connecting, and a regular pen and paper? Weren't doing it for me anymore, I didn't know why, but this is way more exciting and brings my world to life. No, we don't have a lot of time so we should do what we love regardless of who's watching, because we're lucky enough just to have the time. If I gain readers or make new friends, that’s just the bow on top. It's also so comforting seeing other people like me, whilst putting this all together, who still want to see your work/art regardless of status, who also use blogs as digital diaries etc. I love it here.

 

Until next time,

x Troi ♡