The Pink Parlour

 ｡𖦹°‧ 9.27.26  Remember you must die. That is Momento mori. I learned this latin phrase during my hyper fixation on philosophy, specifically Stoicism. It's a big reason I'm constantly reminding myself of the free will that I have and it comes down to telling myself the smallest things. Get up and do your hair, makeup, wear that really cute top you like even if you're staying inside today. Even if you have zero plans besides sitting at your lap top and writing this entry.      It feels lame, but I bet you I'm going to make it look sexy lol just because I can.   Plus, the thought of death absolutely terrifies me when I let myself fall down that rabbit hole. I'd be asking for a panic attack, but it fuels me to really try. If I get up and give myself something to look forward to such as getting cute for  myself- I'll feel good. I'm a firm believer in if you look good, you feel good, it really works for me. Even I just start by making my bed, I'll b...

What you got for me? What have you brought to my jaded table? Money Good sex Pillow talk Where’s your heart? Where’s your loyalty? Where’s the trust? My peace? I bring relaxation baby A full heart Unquestionable loyalty The blue prints to a wife In sickness in health Rich or poor I bring new eyes The sun to its feet I take the liquor from your arrogant lips and become your water I take the distraction of marijuana smoke Out of your lungs and give you fresh air A reason to be here a reason to see to be And that’s all you got for me?

I like a gentleman I love a gentle man I love gentle women I like them soft.

  I feel as I’ve torn my skin from my flesh And I am just the hollow skin The empath feels empty  The grounded feels high The sharp feels asleep Dissociated from reality I run to the future for comfort I slip into my past My present confuses me Im unsure of where I am Unsure of where my fate stands Unsure if its mine or gods hands While my own discernment runs in circles  Not knowing where to land.

  ｡𖦹°‧ 9.26.26      hiiii doll~  I think we should all play in dirt more. Specifically gardens/herbs. I'm currently studying herbs independently because I hope to have my own apothecary one day where I can make teas and products specifically designed for women's health so I'm talking about PMS, PMDD(what I was dealing with & do not recommend -3 out of 5 stars), PCOS, etc. I struggle with hormonal imbalance a lot plus anxiety so I'm pretty passionate.      I'll absolutely be old with a garden just as old as me one day. That is a dream with all my cutesy products of for my business- I have a name thought out and everything .  If you know any helpful herbs you may use or know of, please please please let me know, & thank you Sabrina Carpenter. x Troi ♡

  ｡𖦹°‧ 9.26.26       hi doll~  I've been leaning into philosophy more- mainly because I'm not religious, but spiritual- a lot of times I don’t know what I believe. I know I don’t believe the generic Jesus or god image that resembles Jared Leto lol I really don't think god has a physical form at all, at least mine doesn't. I do believe everyone has their own god too.      I started learning about stoics, buddhism, and others- I'd loooooove to visit a monastery I realised first of all lol now my boyfriend and I are planning a trip for it next year. Second, I started reading The Alchemist . I wouldn't call myself a huge book worm because I read when I feel I need to if that makes sense. Like my gut tells me when I need to read or hear something and I call that my mini god because it's always what I need to hear or see at that time. I believe god talks to us in different ways and that is one of them. Anyway, a specific chapter in that book taugh...

 ｡𖦹°‧ 9.26.26      hi doll~  I recently acknowledged that I've been suppressing a lot of stress and anxiety about many things, especially since I just turned 24, I easily get to feeling behind. I feel dumb a lot too because mentally I still feel like I'm in my teens.  I  still  think its a flex showing my ID when buying alcohol henny LMAO but seriously,  it's hard for me to relax. My shoulders are always up like I'm bracing for impact, butt cheeks clenched too baby lmao things I'm still trying to be mindful of.  I'm not in school, I quit my full time job and got a part time one recently, I don't really have friends so I'm always inside with my cat.  I just often feel like I'm doing everything wrong. x Troi ♡

  Hey doll, To be honest, I didn't know people still made or read blogs lol, but I was inspired by seeing someone else's recently! It was so cute and it inspired me to make my own:)  I'm teaching myself free will - in this era I am in. Becoming an adult, which sucks first of all, I'm unlearning things I was taught that I don’t wish to take with me and I'm kind of building a whole new me in a way.  It's messy, fun, discouraging at times, and I constantly feel stuck with myself. In my daydreams, in my fears, in my current space just disassociating.  I thought it'd be a great form of expression and a cutesy thing to do, outside of my poetry, to bring it all to life and let myself shamelessly live in it. because I can ;)